Thankful Heart Rewind

The other day I was at the grocery store filling my cart for the 30 people that I would be having over at my house the next day. Trying to push my weighted cart down the aisle, through the chaos of people, my eye was caught by a little lady with a cart 'filled' with 1, yes 1, roll of toilet paper, a six pack of eggs, half gallon of milk and mints...suddenly “the grass seemed greener” on the other side. (memo: that’s usually when a big red flag should pop up because it’s probably a moment of unreasonable, selfish thought) I thought myself “Wow, how awesome it would be if I only had to shop for me; if only had to think about me; if I only had to feed me or at least just me and my family.” I sat in that moment for a while staring blankly at that women’s shopping cart. War raging within my soul, I wrestled with reality. In the midst of the congested grocery store I felt that I heard God say, “Courtney, is that what you REALLY want? Do you want to be a little widowed lady who has no family, no friends, no one to visit you when you’re lonely or sick, no one so share a meal with, no one to talk to at the end of the day, or the beginning for that matter? Or maybe, just maybe she only has enough money to buy those few items, maybe it’s not her choice! Did you think about that? You don’t HAVE to feed those people tomorrow. You don’t HAVE to let them in your home. You don’t HAVE to care about them…but my child, it will be your greatest joy if you choose to do so, knowing that whatever you do for the least you do for Me.” And so humbly I continued my shopping, giving thanks for the place in life that God has called me to for this season of the journey.